Dreams Written II

He was adopted as a child into our family of two, immediately becoming the precious one in our lives. He was a blondie with beautiful grey eyes and a smile that melted my heart over and over again. A scene changes and we are in a nature park where one can take residence for several days- it is a camp of some sort. He is about four or five and is having fun exploring with a friend. (All these faces are foreign to the dreamer but there is familiarity within the characters themselves.) A friend's child is at my foot and I play with her for awhile. Approximately 30-40 minutes go by and I decide it time to go inside and call out for him to come back but there is no reply. I wonder where he has wandered off to and anxiously calls out even louder. Again, no reply. I naturally panic. My heartbeat is racing at a hundred miles per hour and I am moving at the speed of light, or at least it feels so. (I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the child, apologies.) I call out his name and tears are trickling gushing down my face as I flap my arms around like a wild chicken as though to give me more speed to look for him. I am repetitively praying, "God, please let me find him, please, please..." But what felt like three hours of searching injected a feeling which sank in my heart and I fall to the ground- I've lost him. I pleaded with God for another chance, it was by grace that he was brought into my arms as a babe and maybe this once, I felt, by grace, he could be in my arms again. Suddenly a friend's child of older age runs towards me and points in a direction with a look on his face. The fear I have in my mind, heart and soul mutes all sounds but I run in that direction. And at the end of the little dusty assumption of a road is him looking exhausted but as though he had been crying too. I quickly cradle him and a million questions run through my head but only one is audible: "What happened?" you play wit her, uncle X tell me she is your real family, i am not real. My heart broke from part anger part sadness- that I had to subject my child to such pain of rejection but also that someone had manipulated my child to feel that he was not good enough. I reassured him as he was in my arms and a small smile crept to his face.


(I woke up feeling relieved, as though a few seconds ago my heart had just been stabbed and was healed again. I as the dreamer was omnipresent at certain stages of this dream therefore knew beforehand that someone had spoken to the child about the lack of belonging to the family but the chase was fully first-person. Note however that in this dream, I was not the main character. All the characters were foreign to me and even more blurred a vision since I have woken up. The visuals have fade but it has been thirty minutes since I woke and the emotions and thoughts are still vivid in my heart.)